Making friends

Hello. My name is Glenn, and I have been sober for almost 15 months.

I try to be funny, so that people can like me. Often I end up insulting people. It's not on purpose.

I don't remember much about social life. I'm telling people that I have worked on my drug-crazed frenzylike disposition, and that I have learnt skills to handle real life now.

I am friendly!

So I try, and more often than not, I fail.

After a year of sobering up, I started facebooking again. Marcus, a guy I met in rehab, told me I should start out with a natural photograph for my profile.

That way people could see how relaxed and layed back I am, now that I've stopped injecting heroin into my vains for recreation and sucking dick for moneys.

My facebook profile picture.

So I put this one up. Which was a "fail!". For some reason I kept losing friends and got a lot of insulting comments. People can be so fucking rude sometimes. He said natural. How much more natural can I get?

I considered killing him, or at least violently stabbing him in the face with a screwdriver.
After all, I honestly feel this is all Marcus' fault.

Then I realized that mutilating him might be illegal, so I stole his phone and sexted all his friends telling them how I wanted to gaysex them in their assholes with my penis. I also messaged his eleven-year-old before dumping the phone back in Marcus' mailbox.

Suits him right.

Marcus was very angry with me, and he was screaming and trying to punch me when I saw him.

I tried calming him down by telling him that I really wanted to jam a screwdriver in his face, but he didn't seem to get it. Some people just can't be helped.

So I made him a cake to show that I wanted to be friends. I havent heard from him since. Maybe its hard for him. Perhaps he has commitment problems and have a hard time making new friends. :(

Yummy! Cake. Everybody loves cake. :)