Metallica. Fuck yeah!

I am fucking exhausted.

Probably not the first thing you would want to read on someones blog. Personally I cannot fathom* how you would want to read someones blog in the first fucking place, unless it has a lot of pictures and dickjokes and as few links as humanly possible. And of course it has to be sarcastic and bitter. I will provide.

*(can you read past that word, you inbread uncultivated ... sorry it's not very clever to insult readers if I wanna keep them around. I will try to restrain myself, but you have to admit ... nevermind.)

Ah well. Anyway, I was at a Metallica concert yesterday. Even though Lars is getting fat, old and increasingly bald, and has developed some sort of tick that makes him do this every five seconds or so ....

.... it was quite awesome. Gojira and Mastodon warmed up for them, and I had been looking forward to that, but the sound was horrible and the crowd was amazingly shit. (note: people are more important than the bands) At one point Joe Duplaintier (the lead singer in Gojira) stopped the concert to tell us all that we were the dullest crowd ever, and reminded us that this was a rock concert and that we should take our naps somewhere else. That was cool.

I was sober all the way through, so when Metallica came on I was pretty much alone in a crowd of 40.000. Everywhere around me people fell around on their faces, spilling their overpriced beer everywhere and pissing right next to me. The smell (which James Hetfield commented on) was as vile as in an alcoholic donkeys diseased and bleeding ass. Sweaty, nasty ugly fucking retarded fans raving around uncontrollably, talking (screaming) to eachother all throughout the fucking show. As if the shitfaced stories your friends tell everytime they are out drinking are more interesting than seeing Metallica rock your brains out.

Metallica has the ugliest fans in the universe. There may or may not be otherworldy bands on totally different planets, where the fanboys are three-headed and ninebreasted and feeds themseves ass to mouth, but Metallica-fans are still far worse.
 
Cue pictures.

I stood far off to the side, because being amidst all those hungry, drunk psychopaths was impossible without contemplating suicide by snuffing out gargling on somebodys sweaty chest. 


 

Hey, ASSHOLE!! You're standing the wrong way! Metallica is THAT way!! I'm grinding my teeth just looking at this picture. Get it away from me.

I have been to my share of rock-concerts in my day, but I have obviously been too fucked up on drugs and alcohol to notice this. People actually clap now. I feel old.

Drunk fucking retards having a meaningful conversation in the middle of a fucking Metallica show. I can't begin to convey the immense urge to kill those people. Kill'em all!

I'm speechless. A little nob in the back of the head, his head would take the other ass-face down and nobody would notice if I stomped the living crap out of them after.

 "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"

 "We have great vocals too, Metallica! And we can almost muster the motor skills to make horns with our fingers. And we're many! Yay us!" - Assholes attending Metallica.

Many.

Assholes.