The virgin killer Queen of England and the world.

Yes, so the breaking news these days are that Queen Elizabeth of England turns 10.000 years this century.

I want to take some time to celebrate her reptilian heritage and pay tribute to her massive hat collection. As Monty Python so brilliantly taught us in their masterpiece "The Meaning of Life", the purpose of living is to aquire and wear hats.

Turbans quickly became popular.

"The turban"

As a young lizard, right around the time Jesus and Socrates lived, Elizabeth arrived on planet earth wearing nothing but a pair of pumps and this turban. The turban served several purposes, not only was it a fashion accessory, but it also covered up the skull fragments that would otherwise stick out of her head. 

   You can tell that her outfit has been an influence on fashion in several cultures throughout the ages. Made very popular by the slightly darker race of reptiles known as the Bin Ladens, which are from a different starsystem entirely. Elizabeths somewhat quirky smile is due to an error made by the alien surgeon who tried to make her face as similar to a humans as alienly possible. This has been corrected countless times since then with more surgery. A steady diet of drinking virgins blood and snorting the crushed bones of sacred christian crusaders has helped her face appear healthy along the way.

"The horns"

The shape of Elizabeths head.

This must not be mistaken for a hat. In actuality this is Elizabeths original skull bonestructure sticking out of her artificial hair. It is one of the earlier attempts of making her look human, you can see that the smiling glitch has not been made yet in this picture. In hindsight we can be honest and say that this still was a shot in the dark. After all, the alien surgeons on planet Rephaxologous 7 (in the vicinity of Sirius B) only had poor sketchwork of cavemen to go by when trying to make Elizabeth ready to rule humanity.
   Where these bones or horns used to stick out of her head, she now has in place several types of sockets. These are used to fit all the other, sometimes gravitydefying hats she flaunts at times. Socket-surgery is one of many reasons why these hats havent taken off completely on the fashion market. The only people who can afford these, are mostly royals, or people related to lizards.

"More surgery"

This photo is taken after one of the recent surgeries she undertook. At this point in her life, all the famous alien surgeons had been long dead of old age, so she had to perform it herself. She tried to make herself look her age, and that had dire concequences to her facial structure. Here two of her reptillian gigolos are trying to cheer her up with cupcake-hamburgers. To no avail. Not even her hat can make her happy. Even though it also serves as a satelite dish to get signals from the snuff-channels live reptile-feeding show beamed right into her neo-cortex.

 

 

Here follows a few more of Queen Elizabeths head inserted into hats. Enjoy.

This is the most expensive prosthesis she wears. People worship this, not knowing its an artificial limb.

Here is the hat Elizabeth used when she was sheriff of the first 13. states in America.

Here Elizabeth let her real hair grow out during the celebration of her one billionth virgin murder during her reign.